Antique Firearms
The antique pistol let out a sad, soggy click, but would not fire. The main character looked down at the gun with a sigh.
“Not again!” She shouted in frustration. She smacked the butt of the gun with her soaking hands, hoping to dislodge some of the water. “Man, is the author going to be pissed.”
The villain dropped his aim. “Gun problems again, MC?”
“Yes!” She heaved a sigh. “Shouldn’t it be common sense that gunpowder doesn’t fire when it gets wet?”
The villain took a few water logged steps forward. “I’m sure I can help you with your soaking clothes instead.” He waggled his eyebrows.
The main character curled her face in disgust. “I’m sure we’re definitely not following the plot now, but—“
Space Swords
All around them the beach and the waves disappeared.
“What?” The main character asked, looking around as the scene disappeared. “Oh no! The author is messing with us again!” She looked down, instead of her pirate clothes, a space suit appeared instead. “I liked the pirate arc!”
The villain twirled his glowing light sword. “I dunno,” he said. “I’ve always been partial to space myself. Less rules to get caught up in. Like—“ He paused. “What happens when you fire a laser off into space, where does it stop and how many alien species could there be?” He laughed his evil laugh. “Much less rules to get caught in up here.”
The main character groaned. “But what about the principle of a pirate romance?”
The villain waggled his eyebrows again. “There can definitely be piracy in space. I would love to plunder your—“
“ENOUGH!” The main character shouted. “You and I aren’t supposed to be romantic until the last third of the book. Keep it to yourself for now until after the duel and when we can frustrate the writer the most.”
The villain winked then. “Yes, my Goody Two Shoes. I’ll be on my best worst behavior.”
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