My charger is white and new. Getting a new phone for the first time in over two years, it is unlike any other charger I’ve ever had. At first, I was apprehensive, new technology, new charger, new apps and a new OS, but slowly, I realized change was inevitable.
Change is inevitable, not just in technology, or chargers, but in life as well. If things stayed the same, they would grow stagnant and boring. It’s impossible to stay in one place forever.
Change can also be scary, but I have found, even if it is terrifying at the time, it leads to better things in the long run.
5 years ago today, I was in a relationship that I’m sure was my worst relationship to date. 5 years ago today, I ended that relationship and since then, only good things have come from that end. It was a huge change and caused a lot of grief at first, but here I am 5 years later and so much stronger for it.
Change is frightening, but most of the time its the charge we need to keep moving forward.
All things must come to an end. The day we live through must give way to a new one tomorrow, the weeks and months give way to New Years and decades. Even writing projects must end, some of them earlier than others.
I have a lot of unfinished projects. Daily when I write, or think about writing, I open my program, or my notebook and scroll through and look at all the ideas I have started and never finished.
Why did I stop writing them?
There are several reasons:
I Found a New/Better Idea:
Don’t ask me where all of my ideas come from, but occasionally I start them before I really flesh them out. Then a new idea comes around and I jump onto that one.
I Don’t Know Where the Story is Going:
Sometimes I “off-road” from my outline and then get stuck because I have no idea where the story is going after that. Sometimes I don’t even have an outline. Sometimes, I just don’t like the idea as much as I thought I would.
The Writing Gets Too Hard:
There are certain topics and situations that are just hard for me to write. Certain emotions that I can’t fully express on the page, or certain situations that I have never been in and can’t accurately describe. So I stop to research and sometimes never return to it.
Interruptions:
Sometimes, I just get interrupted and lose my flow in a piece and just never return to it. It happens and it’s depressing, but sometimes the writing mojo doesn’t come back.
Thinking about all these reasons why I stop writing, I realized something. Those are all excuses why I stop writing.
The real reason I stop writing is FEAR.
Fear that my idea isn’t good enough.
Fear that I will never find the right direction.
Fear that I can’t do the hard writing, so I move to something easier.
Fear that I will never be in that right writing mood, or that I will never be as excited as I was to write that first page.
I am making the choice to stop letting the fear dictate what I start and finish.
Ideas are everywhere, but sometimes they seem weird or outlandish, sometimes overdone, or exactly like another writer’s idea. If you’re anything like me, that can be a frightening idea, that could keep you up at night, and make you doubt every word you put on the page. Sure, there are a lot of ideas out there, and some will be similar, but that does not mean we have to fear them. It doesn’t mean we have to fear writing them either for ourselves or in public.
It took me a while to realize that I could write in public without judgement and explain my ideas without feeling like I would be labeled a weirdo. Writing used to be very secretive for me, and it seemed like there were galaxies between every other published author and me, that I could never reach the stars where they were. And then, I decided I didn’t want to be afraid anymore, I decided that I was done being a doormat, that it was time to really exist instead of just catering to everyone else.
The lesson for this week is: Write Without Fear
When you allow yourself to write without fear, it opens a kind of doorway to many other ideas that were once closed off. Ideas that were once too weird you can finally face with the attitude of readiness and excitement. Once you decide to write without fear, it’s like opening a can of worms. There are consequences, but it is all worth the risk.
When you write without fear, you stop being afraid of writing in public. You stop fearing that someone will read your work and laugh in your face. You let your anxieties go, and start feeling more confident in your writing and your skills. You grow as a writer and realize that your fears were a cage, keeping you confined, keeping you naive and complacent with the ways things were.
Real fear is there to tell us, to warn us that something may be dangerous. We fear sharks because they can attack people. We fear death because it is an unknown, a point of no return. We fear writing…. why?
There could be several reasons, but that doesn’t mean they are valid. Sometimes the fear is so strong that it freezes us. I did not write for a week, novel, blog or otherwise, because I was in a new environment and afraid that the people I was staying with would find it strange. I went back to my old ways of answering the question: “You’re a writer?” and I hate that feeling, the noncommittal shrug and the “yeah, I guess”. That was the fear and I hate my fear looking back on it.
Fear will not go away on its own. You, as the writer, the owner of that fear, have to take small steps to release that fear. Whether it’s talking to your fear and telling it to GTFO, or just simply writing a sentence in an uncomfortable place. It might even be answering the question “You’re a writer?” with the response “Hell Yeah I am!”. There are several ways to face our fears, and leave them behind when we write.
Sometimes, just opening the notebook, or the document can be the scariest part of writing
Sometimes, we don’t know what to call ourselves. Are we writers, novelists, authors, all of the above? When people ask us we often just shrug and say “I write stuff I guess…” or just kind of “I’m a writer but not published or anything” Does it matter what we call ourselves or what we say, as long as we write?
I used to struggle with calling myself a writer. I thought that no one would care, no one would appreciate it unless I had something to show for it. I used to write in secret, and I used to let only one person, or a few read my works (and those were first drafts!). I still don’t completely share all of my works yet, but maybe someday I will.
I started to call myself a writer pretty recently, when more people started calling me a writer. As I got older, I got more comfortable calling myself a writer, telling people what I do, what I want to do, what I feel I must do to enjoy this one life I have. So now, when people ask, first I say I’m a soon-to-be nurse (since I’m technically waiting to take the test that will make me a real practicing nurse), and then I say I’m a writer. Depending on who asks, it’s usually switched. I have been a writer way longer than I have ever even wanted to be a nurse.
An author, in my mind, is someone who makes money from their writing. I am not yet an author, but I want to be. Someday, you will all see my name on bookshelves everywhere. I just have to face the fear and dive into the publishing pool head first. And it is scary. The waiting and the rejection and the possibility of having my words out there is three parts exciting and one part pure and complete terror. So I cannot yet call myself an author, but I will someday.
I made the first step toward calling myself an author today. It’s a baby step, but I researched short story publishing today. There are a lot of choices, and so many more steps, but it was a start. It’s terrifying, but I am so glad I did it. It might be a while, but it is going to happen, and I am going to keep writing until it does happen.
Our fears may be frightening, looming before us like huge gates, holding us back from what we can achieve, but amazing things can happen when we face them. Courage, not fear, is the way we make our dreams come true.
This quote is so inspiring. Learning to live with my fear was one of the best things I ever did
What is your biggest writing fear? How do you plan to face it?
