After hiking the usual area for weeks and weeks, he found himself surprised when a new tree, fully grown just showed up.
Right in the middle of the path, a full grown tree had appeared, as if overnight. The leaves were full and bright and beautiful, flowing blossoms along the branches, huge apples, glossy and appetizing along the low hanging branches. He reached out and grabbed one, then promptly dropped it.
“EXCUSE YOU!” A voice seemed to come from within the tree. “Those apples are mine!”
He wondered if he was suffering from heat stroke. Trees didn’t talk.
“Hello?” He said, looking around. Someone was obviously playing a joke on him. “Is someone there?”
“I don’t know why I should even bother talking to you, Apple Stealer!” The same voice came from the tree. “I’m not sure what you can do for me!”
The tree definitely was talking. He was definitely suffering from heat stroke or something more serious.
“How are you talking right now?” He asked next. “Why is a tree talking to me?” Maybe he was simply dreaming.
The tree groaned. “I am not a tree!” It screeched. “Don’t you know a lady when you see one?”
He tried not to laugh, he really did. But the laugh came out anyway. “A lady?” He asked. “You’re a tree!”
She scoffed. “I wasn’t always a tree!” She said. “I was a lady yesterday!”
He almost couldn’t believe it.
“So what happened?”
The tree sighed and her leaves shuddered as if blown by a hard breeze. “I am never ever going on a night hike under the full moon again!” Her branches seemed to move like she was pointing a finger at him. “Never. Ever. Make a deal. With a good looking hiker.” Her branch struck him hard. “He will turn you into a tree with no way of returning!” Her leaves and branches shuddered once more then froze.
It wasn’t every day he met a woman in the form of a tree on the path. “Well how did you piss him off?” He asked. “That sounds like a faerie, and they only interfere like this when you piss them off.”
The tree groaned once more. “He asked me for my name,” she said next. “And I called him a creep and told him to leave me the hell alone.” She huffed and puffed. “Next thing I know, I’m a tree.”
He couldn’t help but laugh then. “Well, then you were asking for it.”
That only made the tree more furious, her leave shaking, her apples falling and rolling down the path.
“You are impossible!” She groaned at him. “How was I supposed to know?!”
He couldn’t stop laughing, but then he felt bad. “I suppose you wouldn’t.” He couldn’t help but wonder what she had looked like as a human.
She would probably just ignore him, like every other girl he had hoped would be remotely interested in him.
“Did he give you a riddle of how to reverse it?” He asked next. It was the least he could do to help her reverse it.
“No,” She said. “And if he did, I wasn’t paying attention once I was a tree.”
“Well,” he said, “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re a tree.”
At first she was offended.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, you have nice apples, but I’m sure your face is just atrocious, like a total dog.”
Still, she was offended.
“And don’t get me started on your love handles.” He had a hunch, but he needed to make her laugh. “If your lower branches are any indication. Curvy tree there. Probably at least 250 if not more.” She was silent and he figured that was a bad thing. “You don’t have any human responsibilities anymore, no bills, no trashy Stacy stealing your man.”
The tree scoffed. “That bitch doesn’t deserve my man and if I could, I would chuck my apples so hard at her.”
He couldn’t stop laughing at her. Eventually, her rage quelled and she started laughing too. The more she laughed, the more her leaves shook, the more her apples fell down to the path, the more her laughter started to sound more human with every chuckle.
When the last leaf fell, in front of him stood a very human girl, her smile lighting up her whole face.
“Well,” he said as she stood before him. “Would you look at that? Not a dog at all.”
She moved her very human hands down her torso and then looked at her own human hands. “I’m me again!”
In the rush of excitement, she tackled him with a hug. Then she realized what she had done.
“Does this me have a name?” He asked next.
“Oh no!” She answered after that, the smile still on her face. “I’m not falling for that one again.”