Tag: creating

November Update

Photo by Kelly Sikkema

This year has been the most difficult year I can remember. Emotionally, I’m drained. Physically, I’m tired. Mentally, I’m frazzled.

But I am on the mend.

All of 2024 has been one shit show after the other, starting 6 days into the new year! Tragedy after tragedy, death after death, loss after loss. But through it all, I’m still kicking and screaming. Sure, there were times when I thought this year would break me. Times where I felt like I was drowning and the usual mechanisms that could save me were broken and sinking.

After a difficult few months, and the literal feeling like I was drowning, I started taking anti-depressants. They helped me feel better, but for the first time in my life since I decided I wanted to be a writer: I couldn’t write.

I feared that writing had been my depressive addiction, that I used writing to avoid the difficult things in life. While I definitely used it as a distraction before medication, I worried I would not be as creative on the medication. That was a big roadblock.

Another roadblock to writing was the loss of trust in NaNoWriMo. I used to give them the benefit of the doubt on most things over the years as an ML (Municipal Liaison) for them, but after the allegations of child grooming in 2023 and then the increased vitriol and hatred, finally culminating in a series of “unimportant” emails that were actually important (shocking!) where all the MLs were nuked. I have moved on.

That transition was difficult. I had used the monthly writing model for years, ever since I found NaNoWriMo in 2009. I had built up monthly writing goals, editing goals, word count goals, but after that experience was tarnished, I felt like everything else was tarnished too. So I stopped writing.

November used to be NaNoWriMo. I’m not doing NaNoWriMo this year, but I am planting seeds for 2025 and making plans.

This year did not go as I intended it to go in any of the ways I had planned. Wave after wave of grief and loss. The medication helped, but it brought out some focus issues. Which led me to be diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD.

Once I was diagnosed (and medicated), all the little quirks, little issues, big issues and avoidant tendencies suddenly made sense.

Looking back on basically my whole life with the new lens of “I have Depression and ADHD” was absolutely wild. I had to spend some time cataloguing my entire life and noticing both what I had missed out on thanks to the anxiety and fear from my depression and ADHD, but also the signs that I missed of both my depression and ADHD. That was definitely a mindfuck and a little pity party, but it was needed. Now I know how to move forward.

I took a break from writing this year and that’s OK. It was more like I was forced to take a break, but that’s a good thing. I needed to pause, evaluate and figure out how to move forward.

I’m currently in an MFA program for Creative Writing (timing is great, isn’t it?) and that has been rough. I’ve always been a good student, but these first few classes have been a creative struggle and a lesson in how to adapt. One of the classes is “The Business of Writing” and I’m seeing the places where I fall short.

I’ve had great intentions for putting myself out there, but I have always fallen short. But now that things are on the mend, I am going to do my best to improve.

Along with not writing this year, I picked up gardening, knitting (and some crochet- still learning), built a lot of furniture for the newly opened side of my house, and created a space that makes me truly feel happy and creative.

I’m making plans to be more present for 2025. I’m making plans to get back into writing and not make it feel like such a struggle. I’m working on putting myself more out there with my writing and my art despite my intense fear of heartbreaking rejection.

You’ll see more from me over the next few weeks of 2024 and in 2025!

 

Camp NaNoWriMo Update: Days 5-9

Between a few days off, a roadtrip and a holiday, the writing still continued smoothly, even though we entered the dreaded week 2!

April 5th

Today was an interesting day. I didn’t start writing until the evening, after a wonderful massage and a nice long hot

bath. I finally had some self care after my long stretch of work days, and it helped. I now have a somewhat loose outline for the main project I want to work on for Camp NaNoWriMo. I wrote a little bit in everything and worked on some blog posts and an outline. Overall a decent writing day.

WC: 1571

April 6th

I woke up early, despite not having to work, and got my words in early in the morning. I did some homework, and worked on my main project in the evening. Overall, a productive day both writing wise and in everything else too.

WC: 1575

April 7th

Writing was split up quite a bit today. A few rushed words in the morning in a few projects, then the rest of it at work. I was hoping to get more words today, since I’m off for a weekend away tomorrow, but beggars can’t be choosers. I did get words in everything and some homework done before the weekend, so really I could it as a win.

WC: 1502

April 8th

Road trip! For most of the day, my fiancé and I drove up to Sacramento to see John Mayer in concert. I got a little writing in the car, but writing definitely was not my priority for the weekend. Still, I managed to get a few sentences in all that I could.

WC: 1135

April 9th

Happy Easter! Another day spent in the car, this time driving home from Sacramento. A very enjoyable roadtrip with the man I love, but once again writing wasn’t a priority. Homework was, and that gave me a pretty good buffer of words once I got home, but not the best writing day.

WC: 665

Camp NaNoWriMo Update Days 1-4

Here we are again in April during Camp NaNoWriMo. Usually I do pretty well in November, and April and July mostly suffer, but I’m hoping to blog every day (or if not every few days) to keep myself accountable for the month.

So far, the writing year has been good to me. I’m hoping to keep that momentum up in April. With any luck, it will be the best month yet.

Here’s the breakdown of the first few days of Camp NaNoWriMo April 2023

April 1st

Overall, a good day. A Saturday, and homework is always due on the weekends, so that means words. Do I like counting words for homework? No, but it does give me a little buffer. It’s a work day too, so that means a decent amount of downtime to get a few words down. I made sure I got words in almost everything I’m tallying this month, which is, a lot. Except I didn’t get any words in the current editing project, nor in the project I am aiming to make the most progress in for Camp NaNo. There is always tomorrow!

WC: 1,445

April 2nd

Once again, homework is important to complete and means more words. Other than that, yet another work day (Day 3/5), which means a few sentences here and there in EVERYTHING this time, plus a little extra when I can. The writing bug has struck and I’m excited for the month!

WC: 2,282

April 3rd

The first Monday of April and oh man did it feel like it. No work done before I left for work (day 4/5!) which meant a lot of fumbling on my phone for words. Still managed to write a little in every project, thankfully, and that was it on the Most Monday feeling Monday.

WC: 1,006

April 4th

Tuesday, I managed to get a lot of words down before work (Day 5/5; I am ready for a few days off!), which means the undeniable tension to write has faded. Writing on a keyboard/laptop is so much nicer than pecking on a phone, though I have been known to do both. Due to some tech/syncing issues, the work I did at home did not sync to my work devices until after I got home. I could have done more work, but tech issues did not help.

WC: 1,440

Not too bad for the first few days of April. Better than I expected, quite honestly, with as disgusting as April has been in the past few years.

I hope I can keep it up over the rest of the month!

WC Total: 6,173

August Results and September Goals

August started in slow motion and then flew by like a speeding train. Between school and work and several weekend trips, it was a whirlwind. I had a lot of goals in August, so here’s how I did:

August Goals

Write One Short Story

In August, I started a short story. The idea came to me later in the month, and I worked on it here and there. Overall, the short story didn’t get finished in the month of August, but I will be pushing forward in September.

Continue Edits on Book One

Editing is a different brain process for me. I have continued edits on book one, but because it is a different process than writing, I’ve been struggling with feeling productive while I edit. I’ve been playing around with my process, and trying to find a routine, which so far has been a hybrid process between writing and editing. There have been great days and there have been days that I avoid editing like the plague, but I am slowly working through it to make the story and the novel as great as it deserves to be.

Mini 1000 Words of Summer

The mini 1000 Words of Summer did not go well. The week was the most hectic week I’ve had at work in a while, with early days, long days, and craziness just all around. There were days where I didn’t write anything and there were days where I wrote a single sentence. The timing wasn’t right, but maybe the next one will be better.

NYC Midnight’s Flash Fiction Second Round

The second round of NYC Midnight’s Flash Fiction Contest went very well. I wasn’t entirely sure how the elements I was given would come into play, but I was able to make them work. I surprised myself with how dark the drama turned out to be, and how tragic I could make myself feel. I was able to reach a rawness in myself that I’ve always avoided and from that rawness came a thing of beauty.

Word Count: 14,841

In August, I also finished another class toward my Bachelor’s degree and then started another. From the looks of things, I will complete my program by October of 2023. I’m really excited for my next class, which is a short fiction workshop, so I will definitely be writing more short stories.

That being said, here are my plans for September:

September Goals

Write One Short Story

Even though I don’t always get a short story done within a month, I enjoy writing and creating. I intend to finish the short story from August and start another one in September, and keep the trend going. I’m not sure what I’ll write about or when the idea will come, but I am excited to see where it all goes.

Continue Edits on Book One

For September, I would like to find more of a balance between writing and editing. I would like to build a routine around editing and make more progress than I have in the previous months.

Instagram Writer Friends Challenge

My social media presence has been lacking, and I would like to make an attempt to have more engagement. I’ve done the Writer Friends Challenge in the past and it went well, so I would like to attempt it again.

NYC Midnight’s Rhyming Story Challenge

I’ve been receiving emails for the Rhyming Story Challenge for a few months. I’ve waffled between joining and not joining, but it is now official. At the end of September, I am going to attempt to write a rhyming story.

April Results and May Goals

April has come and gone much quicker than I anticipated. Sadly, with the training at the new job and other busy changes, my goals this month have been lacking.

Here’s a look at how I did:

Camp NaNoWriMo

Camp NaNoWriMo happened for a few days this month, but mainly it fell by the wayside. Unfortunately, this sometimes happens with the Camp sessions of NaNoWriMo. I had hoped to keep more of a balance while training at this new job, but unfortunately the new job takes precedence.

Round Two of the Short Story Competition

Round Two didn’t happen. Unfortunately, I did not place with my short story, but honestly I wasn’t expecting a whole lot of accolades for a genre I have never written before. While I did get some good feedback, the main point was to try something new and have fun. I had a lot more fun than I expected with this attempt.

Continue edits on BOOK A

A few sections got edited this month, but it was nowhere near what I was expecting for April. These edits should not be rushed, but I would at least like to sit and work with the story and the plot more than I have.

Send Out Something Small for Publishing

Nothing got sent out for publishing this month, but with everything else going on I let myself have a pass on this one. There was too much going on to focus on this goal this month.

Surprisingly (or really not at all), training for this new job took up a lot of my time this month, but so far I’m really enjoying it. No projects or books were finished. Hopefully May will be a lot better for some goals and I can get a few more things moving and some progress made.

Word Count: 4,371

For May, I am trying something new. A lot of changes came in March and April so I’m not setting solid goals, so I don’t disappoint myself. For the next few weeks, I’m going for quality not quantity.

Here’s what I hope to accomplish:

May Goals

NYC Midnight’s Microfiction contest Round One

One of my side goals this year (which I am just coming up with now) is to compete in every one of NYC Midnight’s fiction contests. I enjoy playing with genres I wouldn’t usually write, or prompts I’ve never used and Microfiction seemed like the perfect challenge. 100 words or less. I can’t remember the last time I wrote anything that was 100 words or less.

Make Progress on any open project

I have a ton of open projects and it is starting to get ridiculous. I want to get something finished or at least close to finished this month, or even just make some progress through. I’ve been getting the itch to work on new things, and I’m hoping the Microfiction will take away that temptation and I can get back into what I really want to work on. I’ve let way too many things sit for too long and it’s time to finish them or officially put them away for a few months.

Make Progress on Edits of BOOK A

I have a feeling this will be one of my goals for the next few months. As much as I want to sit and edit for hours and hours, that simply isn’t possible in my life right now. For the next few weeks and months, it will be a section (maybe two) at a time. I had hoped to have the book ready to go by June (and maybe that might still happen, with any luck) but that will probably have to extend into the next few months.

Bring Back Wednesday Works Regularly

For the last few months, Wednesday Works and other aspects of this blog have not been as regular as I would like. I’m hoping this month (or maybe the next few months) things will become more regular.

How are your goals coming along for 2021?

September Results and October Goals

September has come and gone in a flurry of work, writing and goals completed and not completed. I can’t believe we’re already in October and getting closer and closer to the holidays already. Here’s how I did in September.

September Results:

Reach the 50% mark in Ghost House Heart

I wrote quite a lot in Ghost House Heart this month, but in my mind I haven’t quite reached the halfway point. It’s hard to say, since I’m doing a lot of discovery writing, but just by feel, I would say I’m pretty close. I didn’t quite hit the 50% mark though.

Instawrimo

True to 2020 fashion, Instawrimo did not take place in September. Now I’ve already got too much going on in October, so Instawrimo will have to wait until next year.

Read at least one book

Unfortunately, I did not read one book in the month of September. I really wanted to, I really wanted to finish a few of the books I have in my TBR pile, waiting to be read, but it didn’t happen. However, I did get halfway through a novel, so I’m definitely counting that as progress.

Possibly “Go” to a Writing Conference

I caved and actually did “go” to the Writer’s Conference. It was spectacular, as it was last year, even if this year it was all over zoom. I learned a lot, too much to put in one post here, so keep your eyes out for more posts about the conference.

Word count total: 14,781

October Goals:

Inktober

This year, I’m practicing doing all of my art digitally, which should be simultaneously fun and cringeworthy, but I’m going to do it anyway, because everyone starts somewhere.

One Short Story

I’ve been planning on writing more short stories for a while, but things just seem to be getting in the way left and right. For the rest of 2020 and hopefully all of 2021, I’m planning on writing at least one short story a month.

Finish Ghost House Heart

This novel has been taking forever, but I’m hoping to finish it by the end of this month so I can move on to something new in November (for NaNo!)

Finish part 3 of a Fanfiction piece

Speaking of taking forever, this fanfiction piece has been in the works since 2017 and I finally got more inspiration for it. It’s time to get it finished and posted for the world.

Read One Book

Like I said in the results for September, I made it halfway through a book, this month I’m going to finish it and possibly start another one.

Round 3 of the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Contest

This goal is a possible goal, I need to score high enough in round 2 to move forward and I won’t know those results until about mid month. I’m hoping I’ll get to participate in round 3, but if not, I’ll have at least a short story written for October.

Write Every Day

This is a typical goal for me, but I never can quite reach it and keep it for long periods of time. The longest stretch I had was from July 1st to November 30th last year. I tend to have days of high counts and low counts, but I’m hoping to work my way back up to 2,000 words a day and stay there. This month I’m playing around with it and increasing my count weekly.

500 for the first week

1000 for the second week

1500 for the third week

2000 for the last week.

I’m hoping I can stay at 2000 words a day for all of 2021, since I have some lofty goals coming up.

Stay tuned for more content coming soon!