Category: writing update

On Accountability

I have wanted to be a successful writer since I was about fourteen. Throughout my teens and 20’s, I was doing pretty well, or at least putting words down on the page and practicing my craft. Then came the disastrous year of 2024.

2024 and 2025 have been challenges for writing time and other things not related to writing time. In 2023, I wrote something every single day and finished multiple projects. It was the best writing year I’ve ever had as far as routine and ritual.

I had a routine and a plan, then 2024 happened.

2024

I had a lot of loss in 2024, with 10 people of varying closeness passing away at different times throughout the year, health issues and a car accident (everyone was fine, thankfully!). Starting medication for my mental health, which really made my ADHD tendencies go full blown off the deep end, and which meant starting medication for ADHD as well.

Perfect time to start the MFA, right?

2025

2025 was supposed to be my “year of writing” and getting back into routines I’d previously had. I had a schedule and everything. But that wasn’t quite the case either. 2025 has brought all new challenges to the playing field, like choosing to start a family and multiple health issues with my husband. Financial issues and pretty much every stressful thing that could happen has happened.

Now

So, how have I been protecting my writing lately, not very well at all. Some days are better than others. Sometimes, I get caught in the wrong ADHD tornado of obstacles and spend hours doing anything but writing. Other times, my motivation is lower than low because yay, being a female of childbearing age and  fun hormones. Other days, the writing bug bites (of course on the days where I’m busy and don’t have a lot of time to sit down and flesh out ideas), and I’ll at least get a few ideas down.

Thankfully, after some med adjustments and finally some recovery on my husband’s part (two surgeries in a month? Yes! Now, finally recovering in August). It’s taken some time, but I have taken inventory of when I have time (and when I waste time-AKA a lot) and I’m attempting to build a better schedule and have more incentive to stick to it.

Moving Forward

To overcome wasting a lot of time on my phone, I now have app limits. No more doomscrolling for 3 hours lost in time while I work in what should be an “on call” position, but where I have to be on-site. Now, I have to actively click “15 more minutes” and feel the shame of already using up my time in a non-productive way. Now, I plan to set a timer and “pay” for those extra 15 minutes with 15 minutes (or more) of writing.

In the future, I plan on working on my creative works and writing more in the morning as a first thing kind of mentality. It doesn’t always work, especially on weekends when I get to spend time with my husband, but it’s at least a step in the right direction. Timers have also been a big help in the past, so I will most likely use them again, either for writing time or as a countdown warning to writing.

A big part of it is making writing a priority again. During 2024, when I was basically drowning in an ocean of grief, writing wasn’t a priority. I continued to avoid responsibility once things began to get better in 2025. My goal is to make writing and creating and art more of my routine again instead of constantly being distracted by the next shiny thing.

After all, I can’t avoid being a writer forever. Especially with the plans I have for the rest of this year.

November Update

Photo by Kelly Sikkema

This year has been the most difficult year I can remember. Emotionally, I’m drained. Physically, I’m tired. Mentally, I’m frazzled.

But I am on the mend.

All of 2024 has been one shit show after the other, starting 6 days into the new year! Tragedy after tragedy, death after death, loss after loss. But through it all, I’m still kicking and screaming. Sure, there were times when I thought this year would break me. Times where I felt like I was drowning and the usual mechanisms that could save me were broken and sinking.

After a difficult few months, and the literal feeling like I was drowning, I started taking anti-depressants. They helped me feel better, but for the first time in my life since I decided I wanted to be a writer: I couldn’t write.

I feared that writing had been my depressive addiction, that I used writing to avoid the difficult things in life. While I definitely used it as a distraction before medication, I worried I would not be as creative on the medication. That was a big roadblock.

Another roadblock to writing was the loss of trust in NaNoWriMo. I used to give them the benefit of the doubt on most things over the years as an ML (Municipal Liaison) for them, but after the allegations of child grooming in 2023 and then the increased vitriol and hatred, finally culminating in a series of “unimportant” emails that were actually important (shocking!) where all the MLs were nuked. I have moved on.

That transition was difficult. I had used the monthly writing model for years, ever since I found NaNoWriMo in 2009. I had built up monthly writing goals, editing goals, word count goals, but after that experience was tarnished, I felt like everything else was tarnished too. So I stopped writing.

November used to be NaNoWriMo. I’m not doing NaNoWriMo this year, but I am planting seeds for 2025 and making plans.

This year did not go as I intended it to go in any of the ways I had planned. Wave after wave of grief and loss. The medication helped, but it brought out some focus issues. Which led me to be diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD.

Once I was diagnosed (and medicated), all the little quirks, little issues, big issues and avoidant tendencies suddenly made sense.

Looking back on basically my whole life with the new lens of “I have Depression and ADHD” was absolutely wild. I had to spend some time cataloguing my entire life and noticing both what I had missed out on thanks to the anxiety and fear from my depression and ADHD, but also the signs that I missed of both my depression and ADHD. That was definitely a mindfuck and a little pity party, but it was needed. Now I know how to move forward.

I took a break from writing this year and that’s OK. It was more like I was forced to take a break, but that’s a good thing. I needed to pause, evaluate and figure out how to move forward.

I’m currently in an MFA program for Creative Writing (timing is great, isn’t it?) and that has been rough. I’ve always been a good student, but these first few classes have been a creative struggle and a lesson in how to adapt. One of the classes is “The Business of Writing” and I’m seeing the places where I fall short.

I’ve had great intentions for putting myself out there, but I have always fallen short. But now that things are on the mend, I am going to do my best to improve.

Along with not writing this year, I picked up gardening, knitting (and some crochet- still learning), built a lot of furniture for the newly opened side of my house, and created a space that makes me truly feel happy and creative.

I’m making plans to be more present for 2025. I’m making plans to get back into writing and not make it feel like such a struggle. I’m working on putting myself more out there with my writing and my art despite my intense fear of heartbreaking rejection.

You’ll see more from me over the next few weeks of 2024 and in 2025!

 

Taking it Easy in April

Usually, April is filled with a frenzy to get words and complete another writing challenge for NaNoWriMo. Camp NaNoWriMo takes place every April and July, but after the recent events around NaNoWriMo, just the thought of it makes me feel icky.

I held strong through November as one of the Municipal Liaisons, but as soon as December and January hit, I started to feel the disgust and shame in my body. The organization I once loved, the organization I put all my faith and trust and creativity into, no longer exists.

Usually, in April, I do Camp NaNoWriMo and attempt to work on a project. This month, perhaps even this whole year, I want nothing to do with NaNoWriMo.

I’ve put in my resignation as the ML for my region. The local chapter has moved onto being its own writing and critique group. I honestly feel so free after nearly a decade of being an ML and carrying the weight and stress.

What does that have to do with writing and my goals for this month? Well, first off, I won’t be doing Camp NaNo, as I said. Second, I’m going to be kind to myself this month and not overextend my time or creativity.

That means taking my time on projects. While I will attempt to meet the self imposed deadlines of posting here on the blog every week (along with substack and medium), I am fully aware and open to the chance it might not happen. April is a harsh month with birthdays and death anniversaries and a lot of other emotional junk.

I have a goal to finish edits this month, and I do intend to stick to that. I’m going to do my best to post and build here on the blog, but if it doesn’t happen, I’m going to take it easy on myself.

 

December Writing Update: Race to the Finish

Writing in December usually goes one of two ways for me. I either continue on the productivity train from November, or I peter out and don’t write much at all. I’m very glad to say this year, I am still writing my project from November and making EXCELLENT progress.

I want to finish this novel by December 31st and write THE END. I’m getting quite close, and I have almost 90,000 words total (nearly 30K added so far in December), which is almost a novel, but there’s so much plot left to go!

post it note outlines

Thankfully, writing is going well and I’ve been able to get some fantastic writing days in. I hope the trend continues over the few weeks we have left. To reach my goal of 110K, I’ll need to do 2100 words a day, but I’m hoping to double that as many days as I can, especially since I’m thinking the novel will finish somewhere around 120-125K with as far as I am now.

Still, I push forward and hope I can finish another project this year!

 

Writing Update: Change the Plan, Not the Goal

This past week, writing has been hard. It’s after November, so the post November writing slump surprised me yet again this year.

The goal was and still is to write “The End” in the novel I started in November by December 31st. The plan was to write 1.5K-2K a day until finished.

But last week was rough. The joy of writing toward a goal with friends in November was gone (the competition always seems to dry up in December). I reached the approximate middle of the novel (the muddy middle). Writing began to feel like a chore.

“I’ll do it later” was the excuse I told myself almost daily. “I’ll slog through it after work between 11pm and Midnight.”

I missed the goal on the 3rd of December and that set me off on a spiral of “Ugh’s”. But, despite missing the 1.5-2K goal, I did make just over 1000 words.

So rather than giving up and slogging through a larger goal, I gave myself a boon. I allowed myself to write 1000 words or approximately 30 minutes instead of my 40-45 minutes per day. I was gentle with myself, allowed a small break for a week, and the results were staggering.

After that week, a new inspiration came. A new drive to get to the end of the novel and make December the best writing month in years. I made it through several middle scenes that were intimidating, I added in a new plot I was playing with but uncertain about, and I made it through a few chapters at a more leisurely pace.

But, in order to make my goal of 50-60K for the month, that means I’ll have to write a little more in the next upcoming weeks and push myself a little further.

The new plan is 2K a day, or 60 minutes of writing broken up in 15 minute chunks throughout the day.

Thankfully, the little break motivated me to keep pushing forward and helped me find more joy in the project again.

It looks like this year, I will make my goal of writing 365 days a year. The excitement is palpable as we all reach the finish line.

See you next week!