When I think about where I was two years ago (and one day), I think about how different my life was.
I think about how I was on a completely different path, one where I put another’s needs before my own.
I think about where I would be now if I had stayed on that path, if I had suffered in silence longer.
Two years (and one day) ago, before we started our adventure together, I was pretending more than I was being, surviving more than I was thriving, hurting more than I was healing.
Now, I am better.
Now I am thriving.
Now I am healing.
Growing, Changing, Building.
All of it together, with you.
You have let me build myself up, even when it’s been painful.
You have let me grow in each and every way, creatively, compassionately, brilliantly.
You’ve let me try and fail.
You’ve let me transform into who I’ve truly meant to be all along.
Yes, you are reading that correctly. Just three sentences.
Life is busy for most writers. We have day jobs, kids, pets, outside life to deal with once we leave the page. Several things interrupt us from our stories and as more days pass it becomes more difficult to get back into the story.
We also have distractions, such as Netflix, TV, flash games. I have been guilty lately of giving into the distractions instead of writing and falling deeper into despair that I haven’t been writing.
How do I fix that? Write Three Sentences.
It almost seems too easy, right? For some of you, it might be. Some of you writers are probably thinking “That’s it?!”. But hear me out.
If you’re distracted, binging Netflix, stuck playing Facebook games, or catatonic after your day job, three sentences can feel like a mountain.
My new binge has been listening to podcasts. They can vary in length from fifteen minutes to an hour, sometimes an hour and a half. I’ve told myself that age old excuse of “I’ll write after this podcast ends” and then it automatically starts to play the next one and I think that same thought. Repeat Ad Nauseum until it’s time to go to bed.
What I have decided to do, and that works for me, is pausing the podcast, writing three sentences and then returning to the podcast, or the Netflix episode, or whatever else has been captivating my attention.
Over the past couple days, I have written about three thousand words just three sentences at a time. I’m in love with my story and characters again and am finally advancing the plot. An added bonus is I no longer have days where I don’t write anything. Even if it’s 100 words, that’s still something.
If you’re like me, and distracted by social media, Netflix, podcasts, TED talks, or anything else, and still wanting to write, pause that Netflix episode, that podcast, that TED talk, take a break from whatever is pulling you away from your writing and write three sentences .
Hopefully, when you do, one of these things will happen. You will either want to continue writing more than those three sentences or want to get back to whatever was distracting you. If you do go back to what was distracting you, try the three sentence rule again at the next break.
Even if you do just write three sentences at a time, eventually your project will be finished.
I’m sure my dad’s life would have been a lot easier if I had been born a boy. Now don’t go mistaking this for pity or low self worth, it really would have been easier. Instead of artsy hobbies like writing and knitting, I could have been a boy and been into football and wrestling. I could have gone to a big universiry on a scholarship instead of waiting and spending so much time waiting for nursing school. Instead of chasing the boys and causing my dad more headaches than he can count, I could have been the boy all the girls chased, a boy that my dad could be proud of.
But I am not a boy, nor do I want to be. This is not a pity post.
Why am I telling you about how easy my dad’s life would have been if I were a boy? Because even though I’m sure he wanted a boy to pass on the family name, and to talk sports and girls with, he got my sister and then me. He may have wanted boys instead, but he raised my siser and me the best he could.
Looking back now, I wish I could change a lot of things. I wish I could change how well I did in high school and my priorities the first few semesters of college. I wish I could have done at least a few sports just to give him accomplishments he could boast about to his friends. I wish I could have gotten a better scholarship so he didn’t have to work so hard to make ends meet month after month during nursing school. I wish he and I could have been closer, like we used to be before hormones and boys got in the way.
But wishing won’t change anything now. What’s done is done, and I can’t change any of that. Even though, looking back, I want different things for myself, I wish things had been easier on him. He has always been right behind me, whatever my choices, even if he didn’t always agree with me. He would make suggestions, give me better options and sometimes put down options I was dead set on, but it was only because he cared. I used to think his actions and his tactics were controlling and manipulative, and maybe in some ways they are, but that was because some decisions I was not yet strong enough to make for myself.
I always used to think my writing was a point of shame, something that was embarassing for him, and something to be ashamed of. Instead of going out and living adventures, I was sitting at home writing them, and not even very good ones at the beginning. I felt like writing was something to do in secret and no one should see the process, only the finished product. I used to only write right before bed, by the light of a night light, because I knew I couldn’t be bothered or feel ashamed.
And then 2011 came along and I wrote my first ever “serious” novel. It was the start of a series and the first novel I actually continued and finished even though I didn’t technically win NaNoWriMo that year. Even better, I went on to type it, and then it was printed, and writing no longer became a secret hobby that I only partook in the dark. Spark:The Girl aptly lived up to its name. It was indeed the spark that lit the flame of my passion.
It wasn’t until fairly recently that my Dad found out about NaNoWriMo and all of my accomplishments. I hadn’t told him because November was always a stressful time with the semesters coming to a close, final projects and finals, and some semesters he would stress more than I did. A few weeks ago we were talking about what I was going to do with all my new free time and he said “I know about your writing, and I’m proud of all the progress you’ve made.”
That meant the world to me. It means that he continues to only want the best for me, and that he truly cares about my happiness. It’s time to show him that I am capable, that I can do something with my writing and make him more proud, even though I barely follow football and am not very athletic at all.
Even through all the struggles, my dad is one of my biggest supporters and I wouldn’t change that for anything.
Who are some of your biggest supporters? Have you hugged them today?
Writing can be done anywhere. On a plane, train or automobile, in your room, or outside. The places are endless as long as you have the supplies you need. Writing is easy, if you have the right surroundings.
So what makes a great writing space?
A writing space should be:
Comfortable: It should be a place where you not only feel comfortable physically, but emotionally as well. You should have a comfortable chair, or a place to sit such as a beanbag or couch, or even your bed. It should also be a place where you feel safe and where you can be free of distractions, and people asking questions. I enjoy lots of pillows and blankets, and plushy items to help me feel comfortable.
Inspiring: Your space should be clean, or at least organized. You should have things that you can look at and pull ideas from, things that make you feel happy, things that you can hold in your hands. Personal things like photos and drawings and art are all great things to inspire. I have images from old calendars, pictures of family and artwork that friends have drawn for me, along with a few ceramics projects and an artists mannequin.
Functional: Your space should be stocked with whatever you need to write. Paper and pens, or laptop, or even typewriter or tablet. There should be space for at least a water bottle or some hydrating fluids, and even some snacks. Sometimes even a timer or clock helps. Whatever you need to function and write should be in your space. I like to have whiteboards to write ideas down and notebooks and paper to write.
So what does a writing space look like?
These are the walls around my desk. I love the artwork from old calendars.
I keep a few creative things around my bed. Whiteboards are great for late night ideas.
My writing space is actually my whole room. It inspires me and it’s where I feel most comfortable so I make it work for me. I love to look at my pictures, or my whiteboards and take in the creativity to help me write.
Being a writer means writing, but sometimes writing doesn’t come as easy as we might like. Sometimes the ideas don’t come flowing as a raging waterfall splashing the exact words we want on the page. Sometimes they show up when we have no way of remembering. Sometimes the ideas keep us up at night, or catch us right between sleep and awake and the next morning we don’t remember them.
The best way to combat all of these problems is to write it down!
If the ideas don’t come as easy as we would like, or if the ideas are there, but we’re scared of the words, terrified with the fear that the words will be the worst ever, the only solution is to write through it. It doesn’t matter if the words are “I don’t know what to write” or “Hitler was such a jackass”. It doesn’t matter if they connect to what you were writing or not, just write your first thought, as soon as you pick up that pen or open that document. If the first words you write suck, or are outrageous, the pressure to find the right words will be lessened. If after that first thought, you’re still stuck, keep doing it until you find the right words. You can always go back and edit it (or laugh about it later).
If you have the exact opposite problem, and get ideas when you can’t write them down or keep them long enough to remember them, find a mental image wherever you are, something you’ll remember like an orange penguin eating purple pancakes, or imagine the thought over and over and over again as many times as you can until you get the chance to write it down. If you have a pen, but no paper, write it on your hand or wrist or wherever it will stay until you can write it down somewhere permanently. If the same think occurs at night, and you don’t or can’t turn on a light, I recommend a small whiteboard, or something you can grab quickly in the dark and jot down the idea before it flies away.
White board above my bed. Several ideas live there
So whether the ideas won’t come, or they won’t stop coming: Write it down. No matter how dumb it seems at the time, you never know when you can recycle it later, or turn it into something else.
After all, some of the craziest ideas make the best stories.
